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Tuesday, September 1, 2015

I don't want to be a mom blogger.

I've been a little quiet as of lately, and I have been hiding out reading blogs rather than writing them.
It's not because I don't love writing or blogging, and it isn't ONLY because my life is a constant uphill battle. It's because I am not happy with being a "mom" blogger. 


Initially, I thought, well of course I have to write about "mom" stuff like saving money, going on Pinterest, funny ish my kid says, etc. because I am a mom. I feel like me being a mom is the greatest thing about me. However, despite the fact that I am a mom, I am not a "traditional" mom and I really hate reading about all the "other" moms and their petty crap. 

I tell my daughter stories about Queens and Goddesses, and allow her to express herself by running barefoot outside and choosing her own outfits. Yes, even when she specifically chooses two different types of shoes (including one on the wrong foot) and says "Mom, I don't want to match." She watches what we watch and that includes Chappie and NASA documentaries. She goes where we go, which is everywhere, and never to a babysitters. She walks through downtown arthops and into the bars during the daylight to watch dubstep djs perform. She knows the correct names for her body parts and for boy parts as well. I don't baby her. I don't allow her to cry when another kid takes a toy from her. I don't let her freak out when she falls down, because she's stronger than that. We don't punish her, and I don't watch my mouth around her. She uses all the dollar tree sprinkles making pretend cakes in the cake pans late at night, and we sometimes take walks at ten or eleven o'clock at night when the moon looks nice.

What I cannot continue to do is portray myself as the mom blogger who does normal activities with their normally hyper toddler. I am not average, neither is Autumn and I'm sick of reading boring mom blogs. I need to write about the different things in my life. The things that interest me besides pinterest bubbles and healthy recipes. The issues that matter to me, like politics and the environment. I include Autumn in everything I do, so I guess I could still be a "mom blogger" but I refuse to fall into the rabbit hole of mom blogs that tell you "what to do, what not to do, and what you're doing right/wrong." 

Although, I appreciate all the other mom's in my blogging groups for reading and commenting on my blog when I first began, I just can't keep up in the blogging for ten cents a month from advertising world. I'm not trying to generate traffic for pennies. I'm trying to share my words, and hopefully find a few people who make me not feel so alone.

So with that I am leaving you with a list of things I CANNOT STAND about the blogging community and the news that I am rebranding the entire blog, and will hereby no longer be following standard "mom blog" rules, because I don't have to, and because I am more than an overworked, stressed out, mom with a mission. I am a woman, and I have given birth to a little Goddess, and we enjoy being different.

Things I CANNOT STAND about blogging and mom bloggers:


1. "Mommy Wars"- As much as I can't stand mom's nitpicking at each other’s parenting techniques, I really can't stand the moms who whine about mommy wars either. We as women ALLOW the mommy wars to happen. Some mom's enjoy being the protagonist and loves to stir up strong worded blogs from the other side. But some mom's love to be the "heroes" and "peaceful" ones by criticizing other mom's for creating competition. I'm sick of it. We are all women. We all need to respect each other's wishes for our own children. Try saying this: "I am in charge of my own decisions. Her decisions were made by her, and for her own children, and not mine. She is a woman, just as I am. She is a mother, just as I am. I will not judge her for what she says or what she does because it has no effect on me or my children."

Because guess what? It doesn't affect you. 

2. Blog link ups - nobody cares about what the other person wrote. One mom was over there writing about her republican views while I was over here writing about being fat. That mom doesn't care one bit, but because of this stupid link up, here she is, one of my 5 readers of the day, and she couldn't care less. I'm not into blogging because I get lots of people to read my writing or that I could make money off of ads. I care about people reading what I write and understanding a part of me- or learning something new. I don't want to read about someone making a bench, because frankly, I will never make a bench, no matter how cool it looks. I will go buy a bench. And maybe not even that. I don't think I even need a bench. I feel terrible promoting a blog post I *barely* skimmed because it bored me to death and then wrote some generic comment like "How cool! It looks great! I'll use these tips in the future!" because that's what they requested in the link up. It's fake. It's lame. and I get no real readers that way.


3. Stay at Home Mom Blogs- maybe its jealousy, but I doubt it. I've been there, and definitely understand how hard it is. However, seeing all these "I'm so lonely and all I do is talk to a toddler but I'm so happy my kids are finally back in school so I can be alone" posts are killing me. I know it's hard. I know a whole lot about loneliness. I know a lot about depression. I do. I've written blogs about it. I just can't continue to read about your oh so terrible life- especially when your blog looks amazing, and you are constantly online.... either someone is helping you watch that terrible toddler you're talking about or you completely ignore them for hours on end. Like I said, I get it. It's not all sunshine and rainbows- and it gets daunting- but come on. Do you know how many mother's would just DIE of happiness if they were able to get to actually be with their kids and watch them grow instead of spending 40+ hours a week trying to make a living? Stop complaining. You have the best gift of all- your kids- all the time. 


Sorry, not sorry, if this struck a chord with anyone, but I just can't do this type of blogging anymore. I'll be revamping and personalizing this blog to be more like myself- but until then- best of luck.



2 comments:

  1. Hi, I am here to comment because I want to, not because I have to. I get what you are saying about the mommy blogger space and the "rules" of playing that game. You can be your own type of blogger. I don't fit into that category either, though I sometimes enjoy the content. My blog is also different, and I am OK with that. I am still working on finding my "tribe". Good luck!

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    1. Thank you for reading! It means a lot! I understand what you mean, I think it's just so easy for mom's to get caught up in the "mom blogging" world that we forget about self identity. Thanks for reading!

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