Relationships.

"Relationships are not equal. Never expect them to be."

Relationships are hard to maintain. They are difficult. They require give and they require take. Relationships also give you support and trust. Healthy relationships provide you with a bond that is stronger than the obstacles you would face alone. So, what is the key to a healthy relationship? Is there a perfect relationship? Are we in a generation that has lost the recipe? 

Coming from me it may seem as a joke. People who know me would understand when I say, I've had/have my share of unhealthy relationships. However, because of my past and present experiences I have quite a bit of knowledge of what makes an unhealthy relationship. This has led me to doing research and talking it over with therapists. What I have learned is close to comical- because it's all common sense. It's some of those things that are much easier said than done.

The key to a healthy relationship is to understand expectation. Understand what you are expecting from someone else. Start here, and then travel to understanding if that person is capable of what you expect from them. Understand that you should never expect to receive equal or greater to what you have given. Sometimes, the person that you have a relationship with needs more support than you do. This may last a day or it may last months. Understand that, and do not expect to be given the same amount of support during this time. Give love and support selflessly and willingly. If you find yourself in a relationship thinking "I'm going to support him/her because I know he/she will have my back later when I need it," you're doing it wrong. You give him/her love and support because they need it, not because you will too, one day. Of course people will argue that there are people who always need support and are never willing to provide any, no matter how selfless you act. Yes, there are those people who are never-ending pits of energy. You keep throwing yourself at them and it starts to affect your own well-being. This is when you end a relationship. If you can't trust this individual with also understanding what they are expecting from you, then you can't trust them in a relationship.

Also remember, that there are no perfect relationships. We are human, and we are error. Can you strive for perfection? Go for it. But life moves quickly and sometimes it causes happiness and at times it causes pain. Life is unscripted and we need to understand this. All the understanding and communication in the world cannot prevent the unexpected from happening. You may provide support selflessly yet still fall short because you've been exhausted from work. You may communicate why you're upset and still be so hurt that you insult the one who has upset you. You may be so overwhelmed that you forget that the person you are expecting to save you- cannot- because they are currently trying to save themselves. That is ok. Life happens.  

As life goes on, we have multiple generations that are in personal relationships. We've been told that our generation doesn't have communication skills because of technology. Is this the reason so many of us feel alone or mentally ill? Are our relationships weakened by the lack of interpersonal communication? I've read upwards to 100 articles on how technology has either increased or decreased the communication skills that we have, but technology isn't the problem. Technology has increased the means to communication. We can instantly update our friends/loved ones with news, photos, support, etc. How we use technology is the problem. We have a problem with Moral. We have a problem with addiction. We have a problem with instant gratification. So sure, we can use our smart phones to talk to ex-boyfriends or girlfriends- or we can use them to send messages to our friends to let them know they're on our minds. It's extremely easy to use our phones as a tool for our addiction to gossip- or we can use it to read and share the positive in our lives. Sure, we could post photos of what we are doing so that everyone can commend us in real time- or we can enjoy the moment, snap some photos, and post later. It's all in our mentality. It's in how we define our relationships, and what we want and what we are expecting from each other. 

Do you often expect your other half to support you in ways they really can't? Do you expect your friend to be the first one to invite you out- and never invite them? Do you expect a coworker to help you with your workload without considering their workload? What are you doing to improve your relationships?

Comment below and let me know!